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September 14, 2006


Gerald So

THE LOST ASSASSIN - Regaining consciousness on an unfamiliar tropical island, John Rain must piece together how he got there and how to get home.

Victor Gischler

THE NIGHT HARDENER ... can't give a synopsis of this one in front of polite folks.


the hunt for the largest Irishman of them all

Secret Head Men:
story of a detective with the souls of closeted homosexuals in his head

Clair Lamb

THE POSER AND THE GLORY: yet another unauthorized biography of Paris Hilton...


Given that Sisquo was born in Baltimore, Every Secret Thong is even more appropriate.

WHEN ONE MAN DIGS: A New Jersey boy finds out that you can't get to China that way, after all.

THE WHEELMON: Bank robbery in Kingston goes horribly wrong.

POPE: Recovering junkie John Paul II tries to figure out what happened to a missing cardinal.

THE SATURDAY GOY: All he wanted to do was turn on a few lights for the nice Orthodox family down the street . . .

Cornelia Read

Reacher turns in early because he's really tired and there's nothing good on TV.

Reacher takes on a snarky McDonalds employee.

Reacher becomes a loyal customer after his free makeover at Bloomingdale's.

Back in England once more, Reacher sticks out his foot just as Prince Charles starts down a steep flight of stairs.

Reacher has a chat with some bad guys, convincing them to straighten up and fly right. Then they all go out for brunch.

A dull weekend in the county lockup.

While helping the Amish construct a dairy building in the Poconos, Reacher hits his thumb with a hammer and discovers an interesting local sound effect.

Reacher is advised to try a salt-free diet.

And no way am I going to change a letter in THE ENEMY, because it's yucky.


But Cornelia, what about:


Reacher has a bad experience with a nail file and goes after the company who manufactured them, only to discover a secret conspiracy involving manicures, nail polish and terrorist groups.

Bryon Quertermous

NO GOOD SEEDS - A hateful brother and sister plan to do away with their parents

CATCHER IN THE DYE - A fashion able catcher changes the color of his uniform to match his moods

B.C. Noir - Wiley gets prehistoric on your ass

David Thayer

LIGHTS ON: cockroaches flee Canarsie.
27 YALTA BOULEVARD: a cab driver ponders Socialism.
A STOLLEN SEASON: German bakers give it up.
UNDERWORLD: Dom DeLillo's paean to Con Ed.

David Thayer

Murder, He Wrote: Miss Marple disses Jack Taylor.



The impossible has happened: world-weary ex-Garda Jack Taylor is not only living clean and sober, but is happily married and the proud new father of twins. The accidental deaths of the two beloved family cats appear random, tragic events, except that in each case a copy of Dr. Benjamin Spock's "Baby and Child Care" is found beneath the body. Will Jack pack up the family and relocate to an idyllic cottage in Connemara, never to return to the streets of Galway? Stay tuned.


Double glazing salesmen Alan Slater and Les Beale are out on the town, doing what they always do and looking for a decent 24 hour pancake house: It all kicks off when Beale trades aggro with some Russian lads. As always, Alan's on hand to pick up the pieces. But he's getting sick of it. Sick to his stomach... or is it merely hunger pangs? (Recipes included)


Three reclusive English women, shunned by local society, become the object of censure when the corpse of a Shetland pony is found in an old icehouse on the Grange estate...

Cornelia Read

Love THE EMERY, Sarah, but isn't that two letters? Cheater!!

Graham Powell


THE BIG SHEEP - a lonely man's love for livestock.

THE DONG GOODBYE - The John Wayne Bobbitt story.

THE WALTON CASE - Murder in the mountains (too obscure?).

BED HARVEST - Saturday night in the vice squad.

MY FUN IS QUICK - a man with a problem.

John Rickards

I can't believe I didn't see THE ENEMA myself. *slaps forehead*

David Terrenoire

A GOOD DAY IN HELP - Jack Keller flashes back beyond the Gulf War and into a Beatles movie.

KILLER SHELL - A homicidal whelk terrorizes San Diego.

SACRED VOWS - New Haven is overrun with happy monogamous housewives.

FILLER RAIN - Barry Eisler puts out a book merely to satisfy his contract.

And because no one else will do it,

BENEATH A PANAMANIAN MOOD -John Harper wakes up cranky.

David Terrenoire

One more:

THE CONFUSSION - Stumped by an extra letter, Olen Steinhauer has to call on Spell Check for assistance.

Steve Allan

MYSTIC LIVER: The lives of three childhood friends collide after the death of an internal organ.

EIGHT MILLION WAGS TO DIE: Death from a hyperactive puppy.

THE UNBEARABLE RIGHTNESS OF BEING: Right Winger Ann Coulter's misguided rant on politics.

David Thayer

The Narrowing: a group of teens trapped aboard a dredger battle tidal flux and silt deposits.
Murder, They Wrote: Marple and Taylor get loaded and finish a cardigan.



Aberdeen police hero, now deep cover operative, DS Logan MacRae investigates links between international terrorist networks and the illicit slush machine trade.


Depressed and alone since the death of his father, Tom Thorne registers with Soulmates dating service.


Dr Tony Hill and DCI Carol Jordan investigate the mysterious disappearance of wetland wildlife ..


A FIELD OF DORKNESS -- Frat brothers from the "Revenge of the Nerd" movies transfer to Syracuse U and are drawn into an unsolved murder.

Clair Lamb

All right, I'll go there...

THE LAST GOOD PISS: Aging detective CW Sughrue finds that enlarged prostates and stakeouts are a tough combination.

John D

SHOGUN OPERA -- A military leader in 18th century Japan decides to put on a musical production, with him in the lead role. Which of his Samurai will have to courage to tell the Shogun that he has no talent?

B.G. Ritts

I'll go there too...

SEX BAD THINGS -- a chronicle of S&M.

B.G. Ritts


COZE - Friendly chat Leonardo first had with Dan
MODE - Dan's working on his 'masterpiece'
COTE - horribly oversized structure where Dan keeps his 'pigeons'
COKE - substance Dan used while doing his research
BODE - Leonardo putting up with Dan
COPE - Leonardo trying to survive what Dan did to his good name
CONE - Top of volcano after Leonardo couldn't take it any more
COLE - Leonardo's garden -- only thing he has left
CODA - Dan laughing all the way to the bank
LODE - Dan's new bank accounts

Cornelia Read

Back atcha, Laura:

EVERY SUCRET THING--Tess has a nasty sore throat...

CHARD CITY--But she discovers the power of anti-oxidants and recovers quickly...

BITCHERS HILL--only to find herself in a commune of really whiny hippies...

IN BUG TROUBLE--whose poor hygiene has unleashed a nasty flea infestation....

THE SUGAR LOUSE--among other vermin...

NO GOOD DEETS--Bug repellent does the trick...

DOPA VIEJA--but after Tess rids the compound of all pests, she turns down the hippies' preferred form of currency...

PHARM CITY--and their stash of Oxycontin...

BALTIMORE GLUES--accepting instead a herd of elderly horses...

THE LAST GLACE--which she trades in for a plate of French ice cream...

BIKE A CHARM--which makes her take up a new sport after it goes straight to her hips...

BY A SPIDER'S THREAT--just as a flock of radioactive arachnids invade the city...

BALTIMOR NAIR--which she nukes with a powerful depilatory (having used up all her DEET)...

TO THE BOWER OF THREE--whereupon she returns home to discover she has somehow acquired an extra dog.


And I'm thinking YIELD OF DARKNESS for me, in which an embittered and corrupt Syracuse cop gets really bent out of shape when Madeline doesn't come to a full stop before taking a right on red.


David Thayer's already done A Stollen Season, but I'll take the rest of Steve Hamilton's backlist:

A COLD GAY IN PARADISE--I don't really need to give a summary for this, do I?

WINTER OF THE WOLF POON--Alex McKnight has to shine up his lucky silver piece when barkeep Jackie Connery takes up with a woman who gets hairy once a month.

THE HUNTING KIND--Judy Holliday and Aldo Ray rent tiny cabin in Paradise, MI to hash out their relationship. Watch for the scene where Judy kicks Alex McKnight's ass.

NORTH OF NOWHEEE--For the fourth consecutive book, McNight fails to get any.

BLOOD IS THE SOY--Lactose intolerance forces Alex McKnight to change his diet. What will happen when he discovers the secret ingredient in Molson's Canadian?

ICE FUN--Alex finally meets a woman, but in order to sleep with her, he has to cross an icy wasteland of--wait a minute, that's the actual log line of the book.

Cornelia Read

And I gave the standalones to Tess because I got carried away...

David Thayer

The 38 Steps: A British spy enters severe rehab.

Kat Richardson

PARD FEELINGS--In which a cowboy relieves a childhood molestation when he realizes his attraction to his range buddy. Horror ensues as the protagonist becomes psychotically deranged by the teasing of the other cowboys until the mysterious disappearance of his buddy and a strange smell from the chuck wagon herald a final, terrifying revelations.

ALTARED CARBON--In a bleak future, a hired gun switches bodies while investigating the the burned remains found in an abandoned church.

I, THE FURY--Hardboiled Myth from the POV of the Eumenides as they pursue evil-doers to their Fate.

Pocketful of Eye--A Golden Age mystery in which a Child's rhyme holds the clues to a triple occular transplant.

I had a few other odd titles, but couldn't come up with any good snyopsis for: The Grass Key, The Dain Purse, Closing Mime, The Bright Spit, or And Then There Were Done.

Neil Plakcy

The Woman Who Married a Beat: John Straley's PI Cecil Younger investigates a woman who says she's Jack Kerouac's widow.
Hard Knockers: Charlie Fox is assigned to guard a woman whose silicon implants have gone bad in Zoe Sharp's latest.

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