Welcome to The Dave White Roast

Some writers get splashy book tours and accommodations at five-star hotels around the country. Still others conduct massive online marketing campaigns with every variety of Facebook, MySpace and blog component. Then there are bookmarks, tchotchkes and other miscellany handed out to readers and booksellers alike. Getting the word out comes in many forms, because there's no tried and true way for a writer to be noticed.

And then we have Dave White.

For Dave, I wanted to do something special, something he'd never forget. Okay, let me rephrase: earlier this summer I wondered what would be really funny and strange and weird and appropriate for a man equally noted for his prose as for his author faux pas and abilities with beer bottles. And normally, this kind of thing leads to Gilbert Gottfried pulling an Aristocrats joke out of his ass to flummox Hugh Hefner and his coterie of busty blonde Playmates.

And so, in honor of Dave White's first and only debut novel WHEN ONE MAN DIES, which can be found in bookstores everywhere from today onwards, we have the first (and only?) Dave White Roast. Several folks have already emailed with choice stories, cheerful ribbing and the like. Dave even has his very own "fan" blog (which is probably the funniest thing I've been reading all month.) More is expected throughout the day, and of course, the comments section on this post will be wide-open for your best shots.

To open proceedings, I'll only say this: dude, I just got back from Canada.

Comments

[Jon Jordan]

I remeber seeing a car driving up to an event and Dave noticing that he knew the person driving. He put down his beer bottle and stepped forward smiling. The headlights reflected off his teeth and the car swerved into a street light an bouncd back into traffic.
No one was killed, but I know of at least one parapalegic who won't be getting Dave's book.

[JT Ellison]

Dave, Josh Hartnett called and asked for you to quit smiling so damn big, you're ruining his image. "Brooding is more appropriate," he said. "And please, incognito in Jersey is hard enough without your swooning."

[David J. Montgomery]

You're roasting Dave White? How can you roast a guy who regularly tells humiliating stories about himself with a complete lack of shame?

The man writes a touching post about his first-ever book signing... and then ends it by pissing in a cup while driving home.

Dave once left Bouchercon at 1:00pm on Saturday so that he could beat the traffic on the way back to Jersey.

He spent half of ThrillerFest sitting in the lobby of the hotel trying to spot Ken Griffey, Jr. Yet when I walked by with my luggage, he jumped up to follow me to my hotel room.

Yes, folks, he earned that review.

[Evil E]

Dave White? Is that the same Dave White who wrote 'Mindbending Acutary Formulas for Disenfranchised Luminaries"? Now that was a real page turner.

[Sarah]

This, courtesy Ray Banks: http://www.thesaturdayboy.com/?p=201

[Fel Burton]

Is his book out? I'm already sick of him and I haven't even seen his book on the shelves. After so much unrelenting online Dave White fellating, I no longer want to.

[Ray Banks]

Neither do I. You're quite right. How dare a handful of blogs celebrate their friend's entry into publication. It's fucking shameful. I for one have decided to boycott all Daves. Fellatio, on the other hand...

[Dave White]

Awesome.

[Clea Simon]

I don't know if I want to read his book, but I sure want to find Dave White at the bar at the next con we both attend!

[Aldo]

Dave who?

[Jan Brogan]

Jersey Boy makes good? I'm expecting more than the average number of dead bodies in his new book.
And knee-slapping violence.